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Errands in the Mirror

by Feeling Small

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1.
Have you ever been to a real small town rodeo
Did you see the animals under the lights Were you focused on the loop or the saddle Did dust and meat smoke fight for your eyes Were you frightened for the brave bull riders Were you saddened by a rope around a hoof Did you listen to the loudspeaker blaring Did the clowns earn your favor with a spoof And in the dancehall did you dare to dance with strangers Were there boots cuffs on your denim-covered ankles From your two-step mistakes that were expected anyway Doesn’t every dancer learn by first only fakin’ Did you have a Bud Light with the one who bought it for you Did you say thanks with a clink and another spin Did you slide and spin until the pedal steel did you in Then were you just another animal under the lights In a small town, out at the rodeo grounds, in the night
2.
Morning felt like a hallway And I was a frame Hung careful on the wall No secrets, no goals What I was was an ideal Of a bright white meadow full of snow Why are you affecting me so Why can’t I just let it The morning felt like a hallway And I was the bulb chain Hung high above the stairs Pull me down, I’ll hold you up Put you in my broken cup Where the light used to let out its shine 
Why are you affecting me so Why can’t I just let it The morning felt like a hallway But I saw a cracked door moon Through a mirror and a window It seemed so close, mere steps But steps are the hard part When you don’t think That you can move Even your head
3.
Shimmers 03:08
Yes, I remember the pact we made back in 2008 Yes, I remember on that leap day Wishes shimmered like coins And it was cold out, but it was not too cold to swim And I was in over my head, but I did not have to pretend On a rooftop in Bushwick at 5 AM I couldn’t look at you without almost leaning in And if we’d been alone, I’d have had no control But if we’d never met up, how would I have ever known At dawn, we hailed a cab to take us back to where the van was parked I turned to Max whose face was weary in the fading Brooklyn dark And as the city woke up, something buried spoke up I am still in love with that woman Why does that make me feel so lost Why do I feel so lost Why do I feel so lost This year on leap day, seven years later I think I might go for a swim I hope it’s cold out, I hope it’s empty I hope I have accompaniment In the shape of a friend that shimmers like a wish in wind I won’t ever not love you But you can’t be the one I’m with
4.
It came from an end I wouldn’t shift for it I could run so fast then What a real compromise What a true companion All of my road life Someone in it always kept me loved Someone in it held the reins when I had lost my name That word is poison I don’t know any normal people in this world Kept in private, learning to swim You saw it then, I didn’t believe you How could I have been still long enough I gave up love songs when I was too young To know what was wrong with their aim How could I run from the same today That word is poison I don’t know any normal That word is poison I don’t know any normal That word is poison (all my friends are losers) That word is poison (all my friends are losers) That word is poison (all my friends are losers) That word is poison (all my friends are losers) That word is poison (all my friends are losers) That word is poison (all my friends are losers)
5.
Arizona driveway, saddest call I ever fielded At dawn, my mom asked me, “Are you alone?” Josh is asleep on our friend Nick’s floor She told me, “Go wake him, son now” Bright, it’s so bright so early in the day in Tucson What is it, Mom? What is it, Mom? What is it? In the night, in the living room, he fell On the way to town, on a farm-to-market highway His heart gave out

credits

released September 29, 2023

ALL SONGS BY CHASE WEINACHT
ENGINEERED, PRODUCED AND MIXED BY JOHN MICHAEL LANDON
RECORDED AND MIXED AT ESTUARY RECORDING, JANUARY 2020 - JANUARY 2022
MASTERED BY MAX LORENZEN, FEBRUARY 2022

COVER PHOTO BY CHASE WEINACHT
COVER DESIGN AND LAYOUT BY EMRE ERDENER AND ERIK GATLING

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Feeling Small Austin, Texas

Feeling Small is a new vehicle for the songs of Chase Weinacht (Marmalakes). Dressed by a rotating cast of players from the Austin community, then hemmed and fastened by producer John Michael Landon, these vulnerable, delicate song shapes reveal an inconsistent pursuit of personal growth. ... more

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